||[Nov. 17th, 2006|09:34 am]
**pasted from another textual message of recent date**|
its been raining all week i think. ... its really weird how it has been raining for so long recently.. but i ahve only really notice the fact this morning... one day it was jsut -there-, and surpringsingly i enjoy it. i think its really beautiful right now. i feel like im living on this mystic island surround by constant fog and clouds, where it always mists down on the inhabitants.
even we dont know where we are - are we in an ocean? a lake? in the middle of some thick undiscovered forest? Why does it mist and rain all dayy and night everyday?
the damp puts everyon eliving being on the island into a sort of somnambulistic state of hypnotic consciousness. We walk about and complete our daily activities -dressing, eating, drinking, loving, thinking- always hugged by our island's envelopping cloudy rains.
the rain has stopped today, and teh sun has actually made an appearance. i am wearing my sunglasses this morning... though even if it wasn't slightly sunny, i wouldn't let that stop me...never has. hehe.
i thought also the exerpt was appropriate to the misty confusion i was speaking about before. For the most part, i feel as if that mist has evaporated and lifted, to reveal a certain clarity on things that i never thought i could be clear about in my romantic life. The desire to be with him is really making me see things in a totally new light. Sometimes i tell him how lucky he is that i am even considering these agreements we've reached... to which i am sure he just rolls his eyes. And i a way i am being silly, but also there is truth behind it. Never before have i even considered let alone had the want to tackle issues like the ones we deal with. I find also that simply DEALING with said issues is creating a certain type fo satisfaction in itself. Having events and ideas to work through together is something that i have been needing for a while. Beign with someone, caring for them, and working through things is all that i coudl hope for.
More and more i begin to realize just how much i care for him. And for now... that is wher ei will leave, for fear of getting ahead of myself.
isn't the internet so romantic? I mean, the entire idea is just lends itself to a certain type of romance... at least formy sake. Sure, other people make a point or just dont end up writing about their romantic feelings on the net and go for a more all encompasing "this is me my feelings which happened to include my romantic feelings". But for me i dont see these little entries as such. Even in my written journals as a kid, itr was never about " today tony step on ym toe on purpose and it made me feel angry and sad".. it was more like " tony stepped on my toe today, HE IS SO PRETY WFJHDFGJASETJDH"... maybe i am jsut preoccupied with butterfly feelings and blood pressure.